Where to start, where to begin this history? How about the recent events? Yes, that will do, the recent and not the distant. I did not expect myself to start this new chapter of my life by exhibiting the old. But as you will read, I'm am not alone on this journey. The choices are not solely mine, and rarely is it unanimous.
For those of you who need to catch up with my story, the "About Me" section on the left will provide a fair synopsis. The post below first appeared a few months in my G+ stream. At that time, I was anticipating a summer off from work (I work at an elementary school) and some extensive tests and exams related to my cancer treatment. Also, I had made some new friends online, people who introduced me to a new philosophy, which emphasizes life and becoming Chronically Awesome. I began writing again: private journals, poems, short prose, rants against the universe. I used to write, during high school and college, but not much after that. The pen and paper have been replace by the computer, tablet and the cloud, but the Muses still speak the same language.
Here is my first postcard.
Postcard #1:
Frightening and Beautiful
At no other time in my life have I felt such an urgent need to change than I do now. But these three entities are with me, always. And I don't know which one is informing me of this need.
My senses are raw from the pain that awakens with me every morning. Some of the pain is physical, but some is emotional, whether it's fear, dread or anxiety for upcoming events. Perhaps it is the beast coming to the surface, as I lash out at others around me. I don't like that animal. It needs to be put on a leash.
Consult the madman or the angel? Which do I choose? I want to ignore this problem. I can distract myself from these thoughts for only so long. The quiet moments are the worst, when I am alone with these three. They argue against the changes I need to make, the changes I want to achieve. I am unsure whether my desires are not really their own.
The angel preaches faith, hope and love. The madman speaks truths hidden inside incongruous words. The beasts seeks food, shelter, and a mate. In other words, the beast desires life.
The beast may yet win.
For those of you who need to catch up with my story, the "About Me" section on the left will provide a fair synopsis. The post below first appeared a few months in my G+ stream. At that time, I was anticipating a summer off from work (I work at an elementary school) and some extensive tests and exams related to my cancer treatment. Also, I had made some new friends online, people who introduced me to a new philosophy, which emphasizes life and becoming Chronically Awesome. I began writing again: private journals, poems, short prose, rants against the universe. I used to write, during high school and college, but not much after that. The pen and paper have been replace by the computer, tablet and the cloud, but the Muses still speak the same language.
Here is my first postcard.
Postcard #1:
Frightening and Beautiful
At no other time in my life have I felt such an urgent need to change than I do now. But these three entities are with me, always. And I don't know which one is informing me of this need.
Consult the madman or the angel? Which do I choose? I want to ignore this problem. I can distract myself from these thoughts for only so long. The quiet moments are the worst, when I am alone with these three. They argue against the changes I need to make, the changes I want to achieve. I am unsure whether my desires are not really their own.
The angel preaches faith, hope and love. The madman speaks truths hidden inside incongruous words. The beasts seeks food, shelter, and a mate. In other words, the beast desires life.
The beast may yet win.
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