It's not often I share a holiday Postcard, especially one inspired by my anxiety. This one just developed, as I explained to a friend, "out of boredom and opportunity" while I was waiting for a late delivery at work. For years I didn't know to what to call it, but now I know who my foe is, and it is Anxiety. Consider this a piece of fan fiction, and I am a fan of conquering Anxiety. Maybe not everyday, but when it matters, I will win. I hope all of you have a great All Hallowed Eve.
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The hallway was so dark and stuffy I could hardly see but a few feet in front of me. The flashlight in my hand was growing dim. The batteries were old, but I couldn’t find any more in the house. The dust, the filthy, choking dust was the worst part. It filled my nose and my mouth and even my ears as I ran looking for an escape to fresh air. Anywhere outside of this house.
Finally I found a door, carved with cherubs, rainbows and unicorns, all their details covered in dust. The flashlight flickered, so I gave it a good shake just as I opened the door. It swung in without so much as a creak of wood or a squeak from the metal hinges. Only the silent woosh of escaping air and my gasp as the flashlight died before I could see what was inside.
I shook the flashlight several more times in vain, when then I heard the shuffling again. I wasn’t sure what direction it was coming from anymore, the sound echoing in my dust-filled ears. It’s coming from all directions! No, it’s in the room in front of me! Now it's in the walls! Wait, it’s fading, isn’t it? My panic was sweaty as I wiped my gritty brow. I had to choose the room or to keep walking down the hall.
Where was the room? It was just here. No it was there… I had lost my sense of direction. I raised my hands, feeling, groping, reaching for any solid surface. The hall wasn’t wide at all, maybe four feet or so. The walls had to be here somewhere. I reached out to my sides, flashlight still in one hand, giving it a subtle shake every few seconds, hoping I could encourage it back to life. The doorway was still open; did I walk in and not realize it? I was shaking now, clothes rustling, my feet shuffling on the wooden floor, the sound clogging my ears once again.
Perhaps it was the dust clearing away, maybe my eyes were adjusting to the darkness, or maybe both, because there appeared to be a slight glow building. There was a window, and the moon was rising, just now full above the horizon. It looked anemic, the poor moon. A yellowing moon. A celestial body forced to come out for all to see in the night sky, but was really too sick and should have stayed in bed.
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| Photo from US Dept. Of The Interior |
The poor moon cast her light and I found a bed and a dresser near me. I was too tired to look further for a way out of the house. The bed looked welcoming, unlike the dusty hallway outside. As my eyes adjusted, I could see the open door. It was an easy choice made from exhaustion and despair. I closed the door and shuffled my way to the bed. And as I lied down on it, I startled myself with the creaking and twisting of the mattress springs underneath my weight. It took a moment, but the noise abated, and I let out a sigh. I accepted I would have to spend the night here alone, but at least I could resume my search for an escape in the morning…
There, that sound! Shuffling feet across the wooden floor! The moonlight proved to me I was alone in the room. I had forgotten the flashlight was still in my hand. It was, until it flashed on one more time and surprised me so much that I dropped it to the floor. It bounced and broke open with a rattle, scattering the useless batteries. I lied there shaking. That noise, the shuffling I heard before, the same sound I made moments ago in this room, was on the other side of the wall. There had to be another room, next to the one I was in. The shuffling was getting louder. Somebody was on the other side, getting closer to the wall. The shuffling, the scraping of tired and worn shoes dragging on the floor, was getting louder and louder. I thought it was going to come through the wall, but suddenly the noise stopped. Whoever it was stopped, just on the other side from me. And it whispered:
“SHHHH! You will wake the Master…”
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